Why do size plus feed on the ‘slimming’ outfit description rather than outfits that suit us no matter what size?
While the world of fashion is still dominated by size-isms that glorify size zeros (and sub zeros…brrr), size plus fashionistas sometimes become our worst enemies. While we give stink about the degradation and sneering large women have to endure due to stereotyping, we need to become aware of how much our own language is still conditioned by the glorification of ‘thinness’.
I cannot fail to feel irritated by articles that insist on calling women ‘thin and gorgeous’. While this maybe true, if put into a context where this is instilling certain envy in the plus woman, we are falling into size-isms that we are attempting to leave behind once and for all.
Another such word that greets on me is ‘that slimming outfit’. Why do we want ‘slimming’ outfits? Are we not happy with outfits and colours that suit our shape? Why do we insist in feeding the thinking that glorifies the androgynous-adolescent-semi-boyish looking woman in detriment of the full figured one?
If we learn to love our bodies no matter what size our bodies in their innermost wisdom will start to respond to us like friends and not like enemies.
The other day at the office I catch one of my beautiful size plus colleagues slapping her voluptuous tummy mumbling enraged…’I have to get rid of this!. ‘Nice tummy, I said…Nice tummy, nice tummy ,nice tummy….don’t get rid of it…it’s yours, it’s your friend…treat it and talk to it with love and respect no matter how chubby or toned it is.’ Don’t slap it either…that’s domestic violence at it’s worst.’
The mistake we often make is in thinking that if we hate something it will magically change…(which often it does, to the worst…like creating really bad diseases). I think hate therapy doesn’t really work.Only love and respect bring about the best results.
How does this hate language differ from saying the following: ’Nice tummy, I’m sure I can tone it a bit more so it will hold my back and keep me strong for many years’. When we use kind words that accept and love who we are, loving actions will surely ensue. Our bodies and minds respond accordingly. To hate, we will respond with cringing and depression. To love with encouragement and joy.
‘Slimming’ outfits don’t really exist. I mean, we don’t really ‘slim’ wearing an outfit…but we become more and more conscious of the language that makes an outfit ‘better’ because is ‘slimming’ and not because it suits our shape and make our body feel comfy hugged and loved. A model is not ‘thin and gorgeous’ just because she is thin. A woman is gorgeous who loves and respects herself, who is considerate and caring and magical at any size and shape. Lets be conscious of our words and as plus women lets use a language that encourages us to feel proud rather than ashamed of ourselves.
Chelo Alfonso:
Is a proud size 16/18 She has been a size plus since she was twelve years old. She is a body image coach, a healer, a community worker, a philosopher and a kiddie’s clown. She is co- owner of Proudplus.com a portal encouraging women to celebrate themselves at any size.